On 21 of December, I know you. Be a friend to you. Aware that you are married. Keeping my distance away from you but you keep chasing me. Things got out of control. I have feelings for you. I choose to get close with your widow officer but it didn't change a single fact that this feelings is getting stronger. Then I gave you what everyguy wanted. Just to make sure you will stay away from me when you got. I was wrong, the distance that I expect didn't happen instead you are getting much more closer that I expect.
On 21 January 2011, You proposed me to be your special girlfriend and I agreed because of the feelings that I have for you. You gave me everything. You gave me the world. I changed my colour for you. 18 March 2011, we had the biggest fight. I wasn't prepare to lose you, so I tried my best to begged to you. You said lot of harsh word that hurt me, but I bear with it. By the time, I thought I was gonna lose you, you pulled, and hugged me, telling me that you will never let me got. I fought. You begged me and we were good again.
On 25 June and 5 July 2011, you make me cried the whole night long. Thinking that you were having your wedding and it wasn't me who seat n walked beside you in that ceremony. I cried and cried and cried untill I asleep.
On 27 June 2011, I tried to be tuff. I called you and I pull the trigger myself. I still pulled the trigger eventhough I know it will eventually kill me slowly. But within a day I pulled the trigger, it already killed half of myself. I cried and keeping crying. I went out that night alone, feeling to celebrate my freedom, I really thought I would have a good time but things went upside down. Each place I went and looked at, I saw you, your face, your smile, your laugh and foremost I can heard you said You love me. I got home, opened my room and I shut it back before I enter the room, because I saw you were sleeping in my bed soundly. I cried all night long thinking about you, thinking about how long will this thing keep going on.
On 28 June 2011, we met and we make up, I am back being your special girlfriend and I got my smile back. On 7 July 2011, we celebrated my god sister birthday at my mum house. I don't why but I really not in the mood of doing anything with you and I really felt like bursting out at that moment and I tried very hard to avoid it happen. After sending my god sister home. My god brother called and asked join him. You insist in going. I said yes. We finished hanging out with my god brother at 1 am. You then took me to the place I really don't want to go but I don't have the guts to tell you that I just wanna go home. That night, for the first time in my entire life, the guy I love more that myself cried before me and telling me that he sorry for hurting me. You make my love grew stronger and you make me feel how much you are really in love with me. We cried together. You hugged me tight, you kissed me like there's no tomorrow for us. You kept me in your arms securing me and my heart. You make me feel that you will never let me got no matter what I do or what happen. You convinced me and my heart that you have locked me inside your heart. I can't describe with words about my feelings that night with you. When you sent me home, I cried and cried, knowing no matter how much I love you or how much you love me, it still can't change the fact that our relationship will never end with one bold full stop.
After what happened on that night, I promised myself that I will put aside all my ego and will try my best to make you happy. If you noticed, starting from that very night onwards, I always tried my best to make you smile, to make you happy. But there was always a mistake that I accidently did and hurt you. Each time that I hurt you, I will ended up crying in my sleep, cried that I'd hurt the guy that I love. Then you came up with the news that you are going to Kluang for a job transfer and your wife is following you. If only I could tear up my chest and show you that my heart was crying, shouting not to leave me here all alone, I would have done it. It was like a huge stone fall on my head. From that moment, I started cried again in my sleep.
Then on August 2011, a week before you were about to finish your course. I took you the only place that I will share with the man that I love dearly. You didn't want to go at first. You told me there was nothing in that place, that we would be bored to death there, but insist in going and I also made a promise to you that you will never regret of following my decision. You agreed. We went there on Friday afternoon. When we reach there, I could see that you were smiling all the way up to the hills. Once we entered the Hotel lobby, your smile became more wider. And when we entered the room, you were smiling from your heart looking at me with the look that I missed so much. The look that I get from you when you proposed to me, I got it again that day in Berjaya Hills. We spent our day in the room. I had stomachache and you were sleepy. We slept and woke up passed 7 pm.
After the both of us got ready, we went out and I showed you the place, just a quick intro, then we headed to Genting Sempah and got back up after that. We had our dinner and my stepfather came and join us. While chatting to him, the musician came and played three songs for us, and I sang to you right from my heart that night. I almost cried because all the things that I can think of when I sang those songs was you were leaving soon. That night really make my heart cried, shouted, and begging you not to leave, but only in my heart. And that night you said it to me and I looked into your eyes and I can see that I succeed in ensuring that you will have a wonderful vacation in your life. That night you confess before me, holding my hand, dancing with me, you looked in my eyes and you said it. I felt like I am flying with the clouds when I heard you said it. I got what I dreamed and wish for and it was to make you be the happiest guy and have a wonderful vacation in your life.
After few days, you asked me to stay with you in your camp. I agreed. Eventhough, it was not like I dreamed but it was enough because I just want to spend my time with you. I helped you packed your stuff, I arranged your stuff so that it will fit your car.
